Ultimate Kirk 4040 Handset - Us Warehouse [doW2hQrK]

You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get our hands on the 02347000 by Polycom. Let's just say it involved a pair of ambiguously amorous FBI agents, their chain-smoking and conspiratorially corrupt superior, and suspicion of extra terrestrial activity. Just our typical day at the office!

Reports that this item belonged formerly to a Mr. Wiggin are patently false (It's New). It is theoretically possible, however, that he designed it off-world some time in the far distant future and beamed the schematics back through time (and space) via tachyon transmission. Unlikely - yes, but *possible*.

Unfortunately this item is most certainly *not* capable of warping space-time, so we don't think you'll be using it to travel at superluminal velocities any time soon. We would, however, be happy to tell you what else it can do - just ask!

If you need us for anything (Polycom 02347000 related or otherwise!) we'll be down the hall making sure Jarvis isn't overrun again by an alien uber AI.